Thu 09 Sep 2010
"Don't you sometimes wish your sister was normal?"
"She is normal."
"No, what I meant to say is, don't you wish she wasn't retarded?"
"Why? If she were any different, she wouldn't be my sister."
My sister Kathy had all of the traits typical of someone with Down syndrome (trisomy 21): a short stature, epicanthic eye folds, webbed neck and a below-average IQ. For most of her life she was also overweight.
When out shopping with my mother her appearance would often cause young children to point at her and ask their mothers, "What's wrong with her?" Kathy's usual reaction was to just stare right back at them. I was always proud of her in such situations; she never, ever lost her cool or broke down crying.
When Kathy was born in 1955 the doctors and some relatives advised my mother to have her institutionalized. She had a life expectancy of just 16 years and could have a potentially bad influence on any future children in the family. My mother wisely chose not to give up her baby.
Dave, my fraternal twin brother, and I were born in 1959, followed by identical twin brothers John and Gene in 1963 and Sheri, my half-sister, in 1965. I cannot recall a single instance when Kathy caused us embarrassment or had anything approaching a negative influence on any of us. She was our sister and got just as much grief and was picked on just as much as any other member of the family.
Kathy could get grumpy, become disagreeable and object strenuously to specific things asked of her. She could be obstinate and hard-headed, a trait she shared with many members of the extended family. Yet I never knew her to be mean-spirited, ill-tempered, cruel, unfair, unreasonable, vengeful, spiteful or jealous. She would never knowingly hurt or cause pain to any person or animal. She loved cats.
She maintained a positive attitude throughout her life and had a pronounced sense of fairness. You know the internal dialog you sometimes hold with yourself to resolve strong emotions and feelings? You could often see Kathy in such dialogs with herself, silently moving her lips while talking to herself.
Kathy never learned to read or write, but she could manage a passable version of her name with a few of the letters written backwards. By any general definition of intelligence she was on the low end of the scale. Yet there was a time when you could ask her what program was on any specific TV channel at any specific time and she could correctly tell you. She also had an incredible talent for knowing how people felt by just looking at them. I've never met anyone with a higher level of empathetic intelligence as my sister.
Each morning I make a point of hugging both of my daughters before they head off to school. Kathy would be proud of me. She was the hugmeister, the master of hugs, who loved to wrap her arms around your waist and lean her head onto your chest. She would greet you with a hug, give you a goodbye hug and sometimes hug you because she saw you needed one.
After a brief vascular illness my sister died on September 4, 2010, just hours before her 55th birthday. Since I live in Europe I was unable to be at her bedside at the end, but I know what I would have done had I been there: hugged her.
Kathy was a productive member of society and held a part-time job for most of her life. She was loved by friends and family and leaves behind a better world because she was in it. Maybe she wasn't so normal after all - she was truly exceptional.
Darrel Knutson
September 9, 2010
Wed 24 Feb 2010
What's been going on lately?
I stopped smoking in December. I've not had one cigarette since then.
On January 6 my wife, my youngest daughter and I returned from our first Christmas-time visit to my family in Bellingham and Ferndale, Washington, USA, located near the Canadian border on the West Coast, just one hour drive south of Vancouver, BC, Canada. My oldest daughter, Nicole, is staying with my sister attending Bellingham High School for a year and won't be returning home until July.
My main impressions of America since my last visit: nobody smokes any more and there are a lot more "box retailers" like Wal-Mart, Best Buy, CostCo, etc. That is quite a big contrast to Europe.
There has been snow on the ground and freezing temperatures here in North Germany since the middle of December and it's getting to be very frustrating. Just when it starts to melt, it rains again. Driving is difficult. Walking, too. The street in front of our house is still under a thick layer of solid ice.
On February 8 my father-in-law died at age 74 after a short illness. On February 11 the husband of my wife's cousin was found dead in his office at the German Foreign Ministry (Auswärtigs Amt) at age 54. He was the godfather to my two daughters. We attended two funerals in one week.
I am now teaching more English again. At AHC in Wedel and T-Systems near Hamburg Airport.
Current translation customers include VoIPFuture, Evonik Industries, Gruner+Jahr Corporate Editors, Ticket Online, Look und See, SPT Group and many projects for Christa Gödecke in Weinheim.
I am hoping to be teaching computer courses again soon, this time for a large software company from California. More news about this later...
Tue 27 Jan 2009
My English translation of the Ticket Online web site went live today. Of the 30 or so web sites I have translated this was the biggest, taking me all of November and much of December, 2008 to translate. Ticket Online is a major seller of event tickets in Germany and now people who can't understand German, but do understand English can purchase event tickets in their online shop.
Powered by PHPosxom.