The Use of Vulgar Terminology

four-letter words, swear words, cuss words

and the Alternative Euphemisms

If you have any additions to make to this list, please let me know via PRIVATE e-mail at the following address: darrel@knutson.com

Words of warning: Please do not use the words under "What to say to a friend" in front of people you do not know well. I mean this! If you are a foreign speaker of English this can get you into "deep shit" (trouble). These are the most dangerous words you can use, so beware! (And please don't blame me!)

Usage Notes: This is document contains only American vocabulary. British English vulgarities can be quite different.

An example:

He's really pissed
in American English means He's really angry.
In British English it means He's really drunk.

What to say to a friend	What to say in front of your mother
Oh, shit!	Oh, shoot! (Oh, shucks!)
Goddammit!	Gol-darnit!
Damn!	Darn!
Shit!	Crap!
He stepped in dog shit.	He stepped in dog crap (dog do).
What a dickhead (dicknose)!	What an idiot (fool)!
ass	butt (behind)
asshole	-
Fuck! (Screw it!)	Darn!
Fuck you!	-
Go fuck yourself! (Go to hell!)	Get lost! (Go fly a kite!)
What the fuck (hell)?	What the heck (hey)?
He's fucking crazy.	He's really crazy.
Shut the fuck up!	Be quiet!
He fucked up (screwed up).	He made a mistake.
She has large tits (boobs, knockers, mammalian protuberences)	She's well-built (stacked).
She has small tits, etc.	She's flat-chested.
She has a nice ass.	She has a nice behind (butt).
He's a faggot (queer, homo).	He's gay.
They fucked (screwed, balled, humped, porked, etc.) all night.	They made love (slept together) all night.
Don't jack off (beat off, wack off) or you'll go blind!	Don't play with yourself (masturbate) or you'll go blind!
He's got his head up his ass.	His head is in a place where the sun don't (sic) shine.
She got knocked up.	She's pregnant. (and unmarried)
Are you fucking my sister?	Are you dirtying my sister?
Was he ever pissed off!	Was he ever angry!
I gotta (sic) take a shit (piss).	I have to do my business (go to the bathroom).
He got the shit kicked out of him.	He was beaten badly.
They were fucking around.	They were fooling around.
He don't (sic) know shit.	He doesn't know anything.
We pitched him shit.	We bothered him (made jokes about him).
Fuck art! Let's dance.	Would you like to dance?
Would you move your fucking ass?	Would you get your rear in gear? (Hurry up)
I almost creamed my jeans.	I was very excited.
Who puked on the floor?	Who threw up on the floor?
He's horny.	He'd like to meet a nice girl.
She's hot to trott.	She'd like to meet a nice boy.
(male) cock (dick, prick, etc.)	His private parts.
(female) cunt (twat, pussy, etc.)	Her private parts.
She kicked him in the balls (nuts).	She kicked him in the family jewels.
She's a slut (penis-monger).	She's not a nice girl.
You're full of shit!	You're talking nonsense!
That's bullshit!	That's bull (nonsense)!
He thinks with his dick.	He follows his animal instincts.
She gave him a blow job. He ate her out. They did position number 69.	He/she had oral sex.
Who gives a flying fuck?	Who cares?
What is this piss-water?	Is this American beer?
Here's hair on your balls!	Cheers!
Who farted?	Who let one loose (passed gas)?
He has shit for brains.	He's stupid.
He's shit out of luck.	He's completely out of luck.
Jesus fucking Christ!	Oh my goodness!
Holy shit!	Holy cow!
She had a shit fit.	She had a kanipshun(sp?) fit.
Hi, ya (sic) cocksucker!	Hello, my good old friend!
They're shacking up.	They're living together.
She's butt-ugly.	She isn't one of the best looking women around.
He got laid last night.	He slept with a woman last night.
You son of a bitch!	You son of a so-and-so/biscuit!
Blow me! (Fuck me!, Do me!)	You can eat my shorts!
She's a bitch.	She's not a friendly woman.
Check out dem (sic) bitches (dwadlies).	Have a look at those women.
Motherfucker!	Your mother wears army boots!
He always wears shit-kickers.	He always wears cowboy boots.
He's a butt-fucker.	He's a candidate for A.I.D.S.
He has a boner (hard-on).	He's excited.
It's colder than a witches tit!	It's really cold.
She's on the rag.	She's having her period.
She's a one-/two-bagger.	She doesn't have a pretty face.
You fucking bastard!	You're not very nice!
They fucked him over.	They tricked (swindled) him.
He came.	He had an orgasm.
Stuff it up your ass!	No, I don't want to do it!
He drove balls to the walls.	He drove really fast.
He's really fucked up.	He's drunk.; He's got some problems.
He's a fuck-up.	He always makes mistakes.
He's a bastard.	He's an illegitimate child.
That firm went tits up.	That firm went bankrupt.
Fucking A!	Wow!
He said, "Fuck".	He said the F-word.
The shit hit the fan.	The big problems are just starting.
She's a prick teaser.	She leads men on and doesn't put out.
Go fuck a duck! (Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!)	Go away!
He's pussy-whipped.	His wife (girlfriend) leads him around by the nose.
She's a whore (hooker).	She's a prostitute.
He went ape-shit.	He went wild.
He's a brown-noser.	He'll do anything for his boss.
Now we're fucked!	Now we have a big problem.
He has the shits.	He has the runs (trots).
butt wipe	toilet paper
It's pissing down.	It's raining hard.
She's a dike (muff-eater).	She's a lesbian.
They had a gang bang.	They had an orgy.
He walks like he's got a stick up his butt.	He walks strangely.
She has legs all the way up to her asshole.	She has long and beautiful legs.
an over the shoulder boulder holder	a bra
He copped a feel.	He touched a woman.
That scared the fuck (shit, hell) out of him.	He was frightened.
She lost her cherry.	She lost her innocence (virginity).
What did that asshole say?	Did you pass gas (let one loose)?
He took a leak.	He peed.
He's up shit crick without a paddle.	He's stuck in a bad situation.
He's in deep shit.	He in trouble.